It is too soon to quit…
When I was 18, I left home in Farmington Michigan to go to nurses training in Chicago. The year was 1963. This was my first big move from the country to the city. I had been accepted into a 36 month, residential school called Swedish Covenant Hospital. It required chapel every morning before going to class and before going on duty in the hospital. I wore a pinafore, starched apron and a starched white cap. The required white hose and shoes were also a part of the uniform. This was my dream, to be a nurse.
It is hard to believe, but one day, I found myself in my counselor's office crying, wanting to quit school and go home. I put forth my arguments, my rational for why I couldn't do the work and that I would be a better interior designer than a nurse. This very kind wise woman said something to me, that I have remembered every day. She said very simply, 'it's too soon to quit'. I looked at her and after long reflection replied, 'Yes, it is.'
Now I will tell you that I was somewhat lost in thought. But what was beginning to grow was a sense of the possible. It was going to be possible for me to find something to love in this profession. I needed to hang around, finish what I started and get my diploma. Nothing was going to make me quit something I wanted.
Truth be told, I didn't love pompous doctors as they were at that time. I did feel intimidated by the education, the physical work and the social interactions. But I felt the challenge of the words, "it's too soon to quit". So I made an agreement with myself, I would not quit.
In fact, I can remember saying those words to my patients. They would be in despair, wishing for the end, ready to give up and I would say, 'it is too soon to quit.'
A few years ago we had the 35th year reunion for my class. We all arrived for the luncheon in Skokie, Illinois. During one of the presentations, one of my classmates revealed that one fateful day many years ago, she had appeared in the office of this very same nurse supervisor. She had done the sobbing, wanting to go home and quitting school drama. Her miracle was just about to happen. The famous line, 'you know, it just might be too soon to quit' was delivered to her with the same precision it was given to most of us. That year we rewarded this dear woman with our applause, and our gratitude. We were not quitters; we were nurses.
It took almost 40 years for her to be acknowledged. She addressed the 400 alumni by saying, 'it's too soon to quit'. She told of the countless homesick students that came to her crying their eyes out. We laughed, and applauded our mentor. Classmates all, we were too proud to share with each other that at some point each one of us wanted to quit nurses training. We could have supported one another in countless ways, but there was this feigned strength that you were expected to have as a student nurse. It was that don't let them see you sweat stuff.
These were the sixties and times were changing. Each one of my classmates has made a wonderful contribution to the healing art of nursing. There are missionaries to Africa, military nurses serving in Vietnam, nurses working in the home and nurse educators. We all have gifts to give to our profession and to our communities. We didn't quit on our education and we didn't quit on our patients.
It was too soon to quit. Today for those of you who are just about ready to give up your commitment to get healthy, remember the challenge: It is too soon to quit. Finish what you start. There is nothing like the feeling of accomplishment and mastery that will sustain you through the roughest temptations. I have heard it said that we need a 'backbone not a wishbone' when it comes to sticking to your diet, exercise routine, studies and your commitments to yourself. The words 'just this once' or 'it doesn't matter' are the hallmark of a relapse. Everything matters, and it is too soon to give up on you.
Last week, I was working with one of my patients. Her dilemma was trying to cope with poorly controlled seizures, a related eating disorder and depression. She has lost her ability to drive, her job and her connection to her social life. She told me her story, and it drew a very interesting picture in my mind. There was an ebb and flow to the dynamic, much like riding the waves. She would be up, then down. In medical terms we call this bi-polar, and it usually gets treated with strong anti-depressant medicine. True to form, she was heavily medicated.
We needed to look at this a different way. We began to talk about this new health crisis as a transformation. We were really looking at a long road of trying to find the correct balance in her medicines. It would be a case of trial and error. But we had to keep trying.
Most definitely there would be more visits to her doctors, and careful monitoring of her condition. There would be more tests, and more new information as to what this condition was to become. The bottom line was that there would be no quitting. She could resist the efforts of her doctors and our work together. Or she could surrender to the experience enveloping her life right now. Surrender is not quitting. It just means that there is something else to be done.
This not quitting business has been an interesting lesson for me in the concept of 'grace.' Grace, as defined by me, is the distance between impulse and action. It is a short span of time when one has the opportunity to choose rightly or wrongly.
Nadine Campbell, R.N., 8/08/08
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